Once upon a time, a silly young man demanded his share of his inheritance and left home. At the same time, a small clownfish with a gimp fin disobeyed his father and touched a boat near the Great Barrier Reef. The young man wasted all his money partying with hookers and the clownfish was captured by a diver. Oops.
The clownfish was relocated to an aquarium in a dentist’s office and learned he was going to be a gift for an attractive young women with a penchant for pescacide (the killing of fish). The young man ran out of money and went hungry.
Both the father of the young man and the father of the fish knew their son was in a bad spot. The human father sat on his ass at home while the fish-father embarked on an epic journey through many unknown terrors to save his son with only a small chance of success. For a full account of the fish-father’s adventure, you need to watch Finding Nemo.
Through a great deal of hard work and more than their fair share of luck, the fish-father and his gimp-finned son were reunited and the kid had to go back to school. Yay!
The hungry human son decided to go home and get some food. His dad saw him coming and threw him a big party. Of course the human son’s older brother was upset and said, “What the hell dad? This stupid douchbag runs off and spends all his inheritance on prostitutes and you throw him a party? I’ve been good my whole life and you’ve never even let me have a sleepover!”
The human father explained, “It’s like this: to me, my douchbag son was dead. Now it’s like he’s alive again. We always throw parties when someone comes back from the dead.” Yay?
Moral: If you spend a ton of money on hookers and booze, your dad will throw you a party. Also: fish dads will do just about anything to make sure their kid doesn’t skip school.
Ref: Luke 15:11-32
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