So, Jesus and his posse are returning to Jerusalem after a visit to Bethany (the bible isn’t clear if Bethany is a city or the name of a prostitute). Jesus is getting pretty hungry and when he sees a fig tree in the distance he gets excited and rushes over to get some free food. Of course, it was still too early in the year for figs, so there was nothing on the tree but leaves. Well, this doesn’t sit well with the Son of Man, so he goes all sour-grapes and decided that if he can’t get fruit from the tree, then no one else will either. He curses the tree and by the next day it withers and dies.
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| The Fig Tree after Jesus was done with it |
After Mr. “God Made Flesh” gets to Jerusalem he heads over to the temple and notices that people are selling animals for sacrifice. Now for a little background information: according to the Old Testament any time you sin or are thankful for something you have to make a burnt offering. Not everyone had access to live animals through their normal jobs, so they had to buy them from someone else. It’s kinda like buying gas so you can drive yourself to confession.
Well, Jesus doesn’t like all this buying and selling going on in the temple courtyard so he finds a way to express his rage, pulls a major Bruce Banner -> Incredible Hulk transformation, and starts to Hunk-Smash® everything. He throws over all the tables, grabs all coin boxes and dumps them out, and drives out all the vendors and animals with a whip. This teaches the bible reader that it’s not OK to provide a necessary service to temple-goers if money changes hands (like renting temple clothes or buying food at the cafeteria, hint, hint Mormons), but it’s ok the commit acts of senseless violence.
Later some busy-body chief priests, scribes (attorneys), and respected elders have the gall to ask the Son of God what gives him the right to be such as asshole; killing trees for not fruiting out of season and assaulting temple-workers and shit. Jesus (now back in Bruce Banner mode) retorts by asking why John the Baptist gets to baptize people. This really freaks out the busy-bodies who think Jesus must be trying to trick them and they say, “We cannot tell.” So Jesus tells them he’s not gonna say either.
Ref: Mark 11 and Matthew 21
