Naaman is healed by Elisha – Musical Leprosy - Part 2

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout, I’m telling you why. Leprosy is coming to town.

On the way back home, one of Naaman’s servants got to thinking and said to Naaman, “You know, if this Elisha guy had told you to do some fantastic thing like gather 200 Philistine foreskins or build an arc you totally would have done it. Maybe you should just try the trick with the river to see if it works.” So Naaman went to the Jordan and dipped himself seven times. After the seventh time, he came out with perfect skin – completely free from disease.

Naaman was thrilled to be healed so he rushed back to Elisha’s house and tried to give Elisha all the loot. Elisha wouldn’t take it though, so Naaman left promising that from that day forward the only god he would worship would be the Hebrew god.

Gehazi, Elisha’s servant heard all this and ran after Naaman as fast as he could. Once he caught up he said, “Hey, Elisha sent me. We have a couple of visitors coming. Elisha wants you to give me a talent of silver and two sets of clothes for these visitors. Naaman was thrilled to be able to give something to Elisha so he gave Gehazi TWO talents of silver and the clothing. He even let Gehazi borrow a couple of servants to carry the loot.

After Gehazi had the stuff safely hidden in the house Elisha tracked him down for a little chat. Elisha has NOT pleased that Gehazi ran off to get some money from Naaman and he said, “You stupid little shit. This is not time to try to get rich. Because you did this, you are the new owner of Naaman’s leprosy.

Gehazi immediately because leprous “as white as snow.”

Moral: God’s servants are really good at telling bacterial infections what to do.

Ref: 2 Kings 5:12-26

Naaman is healed by Elisha – Musical Leprosy - Part 1

You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout, I’m telling you why. Leprosy is coming to town.

Back when Elisha was the most famous living prophet of Jehovah, the leader of Syria’s armies was this guy named Naaman. He was so awesome that Jehovah let him keep Syria from being wiped out by the Israelites. The only problem was that he was a leper. Fortunately for him, his soldiers would regularly run raids into Israel to catch Hebrews they could use as slaves. One such slave, a young Hebrew girl, ended up belonging to Naaman’s wife. The reason this is fortunate for Naaman is one day the poor little Hebrew girl said to her owner, "I really wish your husband could visit the Hebrew prophet. I just know our prophet would heal your husband.”

Understandably Naaman’s wife wasn’t too thrilled with the whole leprous husband thing, so it didn’t take long before she figured out a way to get this information to the King of Syria. The King was fond of his military leader so he gave Naaman ten talents of silver, six thousand pieces of gold, and ten sets of clothing for payment and sent him to visit the Hebrew king.

When Naaman explained why he’d come to visit, the King freaked out, tore his clothes, and started to cry. He said, “What gives? I’m not God. I can’t give or take leprosy. The King of Syria must be looking for a reason to start another war.” In another stroke of luck, Elisha heard about the king’s little fit and sent the king a message that Naaman should be sent to him so he could be taught that God had a prophet in Israel.

When Naaman showed up at Elisha’s place, Elisha sent out a servant to tell Naaman he just needed to wash in the Jordan River seven times and he would be healed.

This was all so incredibly absurd that Naaman got all kinds of upset and said, “What gives? I came all the way down here and this bastard won’t even come outside to greet me? I totally thought he would just come outside, call upon God, lay his hands on me, I would be healed, and I could leave all this damn money I’ve been hauling around. This is total bullshit. I’m out of here!”

To be continued in Part 2. What will happen to Naaman? Stay tuned for the next update.

Ref: 2 Kings 5:1-11