Silent and deadly, he strikes when an opportunity presents itself.
Moses must have inherited some of his m4d n1nj4 sk1lz from his mother who not only managed keep his birth a secret, but also kept him hidden from the world for three months. Eventually Moses’ mom decided she couldn’t keep him anymore so she put him in a basket and left him floating in the reeds by the side of the river, with his sister Miriam keeping her eye on things.
Luckily, one of Pharaoh’s daughters found the basket when she walked down to the river with her personal slaves to wash up. When she saw the cute little boy she immediately recognized him as a Hebrew, but she felt bad for the little guy so she didn’t toss him into the river. She decided to keep him instead, you know, like a pet snake or a frog. Miriam rushed up to the daughter and said, “Hey, do you want me to go fetch a Hebrew wet nurse to feed your new pet?” The daughter agreed and Miriam went and told her mother she could hang around her new son, feed him, and get paid for doing it; sweet deal, right?
Once the boy started getting older and didn’t feel like nursing anymore he was formally adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter who named him Moses. Moses went on to grow up in a wealthy household. He had it so good he probably got his first iPhone when he was in kindergarten and a brand new Lamborghini when he turned sixteen.
Once Moses was done growing up, he went out one day to check on some of the other Hebrews. He saw an Egyptian beating a Hebrew slave, got upset, and went into full ninja mode. First he checked to make sure there were no witnesses. Then he slipped like a gentle breeze through the reeds and across the sand before launching a stealth attack. Because Moses was fully concealed he had a 3d6 sneak attack damage bonus and his opponent lost his dex bonus to AC. Moses rolled a 20, a crit threat with his improvised stone weapon and followed it up with a 14 which easily overcame his opponent’s AC (who wasn’t wearing heavy armor and was highly dependent on his dex bonus) and landed a CRITICAL hit for 2x damage. The poor little Egyptian crumpled like soggy paper and Moses hid the body in the sand.
Moses was really proud of himself until the next day when he decided to stop a fight between two Hebrew slaves. One of the slaves said, “Hey jackass! Since when are you in charge of us? Are you gonna kill me now, like you did the Egyptian yesterday?”
Moses was really concerned the belligerent slave knew about his murdering ways and decided the police would find out soon if they didn’t know already. Moses knew the Egyptian legal system really well and knew that Hebrews always received the death penalty for killing an Egyptian citizen. Moses didn’t like that idea very much so he booked it right out of town. He didn’t stop running until he made it all the way to Midian (modern day Saudi Arabia), probably at least 300 miles. I assume Moses didn’t run the entire stretch in one go. He probably stopped to rest every so often, maybe drink some water; but maybe not. After all, he was a super ninja with m4d sk1lz.
Moral: even super ninjas can get in trouble with the law.
Ref: Exodus 2:1-15
Note: m4d n1nj4 sk1lz = mad ninja skills
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