The Pentecost – Speaking in Tongues -> baptism

Any time someone tells you that you’re drinking too much, just tell them you’re clearly not drunk. It’s still too early in the day.

A couple of months after Jesus was executed a large group of his followers gathered together for a “mind expanding” experience. Once they got themselves whipped up into a feverish state they started talking all crazy. Because this little gathering was in the middle of the city, in the middle of the day; a crowd of curious onlookers started to gather. It didn’t take long before some numb-nut in the croud shouted out, “Hey look at Jesus’ followers! Their ‘Holy Spirit’ must be making them do that!” Another said, “Yeah, It’s crazy. I can kinda understand what they’re saying though, and I’m from Crete!” “That’s nuts,” said the first, “I’m from Libya and I can understand them too. I think they’re talking about that Jesus guy again!” In fact, this went on for a while with several different nationalities claiming they could understand the garbled speech. 

Finally someone had the guts to call out, “You’re all crazy. These men are clearly drunk! You know Jesus was always making wine from water at parties. I even heard he told his people to drink wine so they could remember him better. I’m sure they’re just performing some sort of wine-fueled religious ceremony.”

When the apostle Peter heard this he decided it was time to get involved in the conversation. He said, “Hey, it’s still way too early in the day for us to be drunk! We’re very clearly being influenced by the holy spirit of God. If you don’t believe me read the scriptures. The prophet Joel said, ‘In the last days God will make people have weird dreams and act crazy.’ Our actions are a warning from God that the world is going to end soon. Hurray and become baptized members of the Church of Jesus so you can go to heaven. Act fast before the world ends and it’s too late.”

Well, this got the attention of the crowd. If people were acting crazy and the world was about to end, they had better get baptized. So 3,000 people got baptized that day, sold all their stuff, and started living in religious communes. Better safe than sorry you know.

Ref: Acts 2