Sensationalism at its finest
So this guy named Jacob - later changed to Israel (remember, the guy that stole the birthright from Esau) had a daughter named Dinah. One day Dinah went out by herself to visit some friends. While she was walking through the countryside some dumb rich kid named Shechem saw her, noted her hot body, and dragged her off to his place and raped her. Apparently she was better than previous rape victims, so he decided to “love” her and “spake kindly unto [her].” Then our rapist friend goes and talks to his rich daddy and tells him to secure a marriage.
Meanwhile, Jacob/Israel finds out about the abduction and rape, and tells his sons (remember polygamists can have LOTS of sons). They get pretty upset so when the big money daddy drops by to offer tons of cash as a payoff so Dinah can marry the rapist, the sons of David decide to get even. They tell big money daddy they can’t let Dinah marry an uncircumcised man, but if ALL rich money daddy’s people get circumcised, “Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.”
Rapist and big money daddy like this plan so they head back to their city where they force all the men to join the ranks of the circumcised. Now, I wasn’t circumcised as an adult, so I don’t know if this is realistic (I figure it isn’t), but apparently having your foreskin cut off completely incapacitates you. While all big money daddy’s people are unable to function, the sons of David/Israel show up and kill every single man in the city. They free Dinah from her rapist’s house, then take all the valuables, animals (sheep, cows, donkeys), small children, and women back to their city (who know, like you do – kill a woman’s husband then take her as wife number 8. Nothing weird about that, right?).
Jacob/Israel gets pretty upset when he finds out about the massacre and looting because he figures the neighboring cities will want to even the score, so they all pack up and flee the country. This works out ok because God makes the other groups in the area afraid, so they don’t chase and kill his “chosen” people.
Ref: Genesis 34:1-30
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