Samuel and the Witch of Endor – Who needs a living prophet if you have a witch who can talk to dead ones?

I think the papal conclave should use a witch to decide who gets to be the next pope. It seems to deliver pretty good results.

After the prophet Samuel died King Saul was unable to get any instruction from Jehovah. He tried other prophets, dreaming, praying, and the Urim and Thummim but nothing worked. He had a big battle with the Philistines coming up and he really wanted some sort of magical guidance so he asked one of his servants to find a witch he could ask. The servant said, “I’m not sure there are any, I mean you had all the witches and wizards kicked out of your kingdom some time ago. I’ll do some asking around and get back to you though.”

After a little research the servant returned and said, “Ok, it turns out there is a witch of Endor that may be able to help.” This didn’t sound right to King Saul who asked, “Endor, really? You mean the inhabitable forest moon of Endor where the Ewoks live? Where Han and Leah finally accept their love for each other? And just how do you propose we get there?”

The servant answered, “No sir. You misunderstand. Endor is ALSO the name of a village in Canaan. The Witch of Endor lives in that village, not in a galaxy far, far away.” After about a minute Saul’s brain was able to sort through these conflicting ideas and he said, “Oh, OK. I guess I’ve watched Return of the Jedi too many times. I mean, that was my favorite Star Wars movie. The forest scenes were great. The final space battle where the second death star was destroyed was cinematically spectacular and I really liked how the theme of Anakin Skywalker’s redemption emerged toward the end. I mean, I’ve always been a huge fan of death-bed repentance.


Scene from Return of the Jedi

So King Saul put on a disguise and went to visit the Witch of Endor. When he asked her to call up the Samuel’s spirit so they could chat the witch was skeptical at first. She said, “Now you know the King kicked out all the witches and wizards, right? What are you trying to do, get me killed?” So Saul swore that as long as Jehovah was alive, the witch would not be punished for working magic.

The witch was convinced so she called up Samuel, but as soon as he appeared the witch kinda freaked out a little bit and said, “Oh hell no! YOU are Saul? You’re the king that’s been trying so hard to put me in an unemployment line? Why have you deceived me, and where do you get off; coming to ask ME for help after the evil you’ve done to witches and wizards everywhere?”


Saul and the Witch of Endor by Salvator Rosa 1668
© RMN, Musée du Louvre / Daniel Arnaudet

 Saul still wanted answers so he said, “Be not afraid. Just tell me what you see.” The woman said unto Saul, “An old man cometh up; and he is covered with a mantle.” This description was plenty good enough for Saul who then bowed down before the apparition.

The magic vision of Samuel then spoke to Saul; saying, “Why have you disturbed my slumber, hmmmm?” Saul explained that he couldn’t get any feedback from Jehovah about the upcoming battle. Then Samuel said, “That’s because God doesn’t like you anymore. He wants David to be King now so he is going to make your armies lose tomorrow and you will die. Then all your sons will die too just so there’s no trouble with the succession later.”

Saul was really upset so he had to lie down for a while. Then the witch fed him and sent him on his way.

Moral: if Jehovah doesn’t like you, getting help from a witch isn’t going to do you much good.

Ref: 1 Samuel 28