Sodom and Gomorrah – Valuing obesity over charity

No matter how you look at it, what happened to Sodom and Gomorrah was pretty terrible

In Ezekiel chapter 16, Ezekiel serves as the mouthpiece of the Lord, directly conveying the words of God to us from the dust of ages past. The chapter focuses primarily on the people of Jerusalem and how awful they were for worshiping other gods. You can read more about it here.

The focus of this post is not about how God chose to punish the sinners of Jerusalem 2,500 years ago. Instead, I’d like to introduce a piece of often overlooked wisdom.

Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy. (Ezekiel 16:49, JKV)

Here’s the deal: back, like forever ago, Jehovah rained down fire from heaven to destroy the twin cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. It’s pretty generally accepted that Sodom was destroyed because Jehovah doesn’t like sodomy. In fact, that’s where the word sodomy originates. Of course the bible never actually specifies the act of anal sex, but there is this bit in Sodom where a mob of unruly men attempted (unsuccessfully) to gang rape a couple of angels. That happened after Jehovah had already decided to destroy the city though. You can read more about it here.



The Destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah - Pieter Schoubroeck (16th century)

Words like “iniquity” and “abomination” are used to describe why Sodom was destroyed. Those are pretty general, but Christians in general think the word “abomination” refers to anal sex. The only thing I can think of that could drive the association is the attempted gang rape. However, there is TONS of rape in the bible and a fair amount of it is gang rape. None of those other places of rape got torched; presumably because it was guy on girl rape, but I’m not entirely convinced.


This Levite just found his concubine on the doorstep, where she
managed to drag herself before dying after a long night
of especially brutal rape by a gang of biblical miscreants



The only place in the bible I can find that uses really specific language to describe the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah is in the above quoted scripture where The Great God Himself says the iniquity (or abomination) of Sodom was pride, gluttony, laziness, and a failure to care properly for the poor and needy.

Yeah, Jehovah totally torched Sodom and Gomorrah because the non-poor were fat and lazy while the poor went hungry.

Note: according to the USDA, almost 15% of American households experience “food insecurity” every year. These households are uncertain of having, or unable to acquire, enough food to meet the needs of all their members because they had insufficient money or other resources for food.

  

Please take the time to visit http://feedingamerica.org/ or http://thehungersite.greatergood.com/ to learn how you can help combat hunger.

Lot and His Family - Incestuous Rape is the Preferred Sin

Because we need to learn from the book on which people like to base their moraility.

Lot (Abraham's nephew) was hanging out by the city gate one afternoon when he saw two dudes in sharp clothes walk into town. Lot asked them to hang out his place. The sharp dudes didn’t want to at first, but Lot talked them into it and made them some bread.

Then all the horny guys from town showed up and asked Lot to send out the dudes in sharp clothes for a twisted rape/orgy. Lot wasn't so sure about that so he told the crowd he had two virgin daughters they could rape instead. I guess the daughters were dog ugly ‘cause the crowd still wanted the dudes. When the mob tried to break down Lot’s door they all went blind and couldn’t figure out where the door was. Then the sharp dudes told Lot to get out of town because God was going to melt it. You see God had decided that Lot and his family were really good people who needed to be saved. (God doesn't usually have a problem when a father offers his daughters to a horny mob for an all night gang rape.)

So Lot, his wife and the ugly virgins booked it out of town, but the dumb wife looked to see what a melting city looks like, and the sight made her turn into salt (because God is an asshole that likes to turn people into salt).

God: "Y'all are dumb as a doorknob. You gonna be some f@&%ing salt! Mawhahaha"

After the salt incident Lot and his daughters moved into a cave. The daughters didn’t think this was particularly awesome, so they decided to get pregnant because that always fixes everything. They sorted out a plan to get dad so drunk he didn’t know what was going on, then have sex with him; props to Lot for being able to maintain an erection after passing out drunk.

So the ugly virgins got pregnant on the first try (they must have had ancient ovulation pee sticks), then they got to live in a cave with their dad and two crying kids. See how getting pregnant fixes things?


Ref: Genesis 19:1-36


Note: I image that if ancient authorities received an anonymous tip about incest/child abuse in a cave and went to investigate, Lot would have to come up with a pretty convincing story to keep himself out of jail. I'm sure most of you readers have a pretty good idea of how incestuous child rapists are treated by the other inmates.